Gillian McKeith

Oh Gillian McKeith, what are you doing on 'I'm a Celebrity'?
I sit and watch in disbelief, as you're passing out on the ground every night on ITV.

Well Gilly used to say she's a doctor, but she doesn't have a PHD,
And apparently now she's a celebrity, but she's never been in Heat magazine.

Well clearly I'm wrong, as either way she's in the Jungle,
But recently poor Gillian, she's been having a bit of trouble.

Oh Gilly, why've you been so silly?
I wouldn't have a balti if I didn't like chilli,
So why d'ya go and do it? Everybody must have told ya,
Don't go on that programme if you've got all kinds of phobias.

Oh Mrs McKeith, you're not gonna get any relief,
'Cause the public seem to like causing grief,
So the fainting's only going to increase.

Maybe it's because you lied about your doctorate,
Maybe it's because you don't like eating chocolate,
Maybe it's because of your obsession with poo,
Maybe it's because you look a bit like a goose.

Maybe it's because you're pissing people off,
Pretending to fall over every time you see a wasp.
I don't deny it must be hard, the tasks they do look tricky,
But can't you tackle them a bit more like that Linford Christie?

Oh Gilly, why've you been so silly?
I wouldn't have a balti if I didn't like chilli,
So why d'ya go and do it? Surely everybody told you,
Don't go on that programme if you've got arachnophobia.

Oh Gillian, why're you such a silly'un?
First of all you must be getting paid about a million,
You must have seen the show before - with your eyes so reptilian,
So I've no sympathy you've made yourself into a villain.

Oh Gillian (McKeith)!!!