Taken from the album MILOW (2009)
http://www.milow.com
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iTunes: http://itunes.apple.com/nl/album/milow/id506203245
LYRICS
I'm Peter Vanderhoelt, I'm 68 years old
My doubts and questions have increased
In forty-two years of being a priest
I'm at the end of my life
I'm not sure if I'm gonna survive
I often don't know what to say
When I talk to Him, when I pray
In reply I receive only silence, no relief
I've waited in vain for a little advice
From that great voice in the ethereal skies
Once I was a revolutionary
A devoted mercenary
A gifted student in God's hands
Now I'm old and sick of his demands
I tried to be honest and good
Did my job the best I could
But I always stayed that average man right in the spot where I began
During the grief with which I've dealt
It's been three decades since I've felt
The certainty I so adored
About the existence of the Lord
I've seen enough, that's why I know
God left this place a long long time ago
I've given to my parish
Things I don't have myself, but cherish
Namely love and charity
Mostly purpose, that's what sets you free
So I'm where the metaphors
Are not comforting anymore
I think I'm almost done with my search
I got old so fast here in my church
It feels as if I'm kept out
Of some sort of secret about
The meaning of life
Sometimes I can't fail to notice
These are mediocre times
I've seen enough that's why I know
God left this place a long long time ago
Time has made me good at one thing
And horrible at everything else
The blessings of the world divine
Were always elsewhere, were never mine
Oh I would like to hold someone
Briefly, maybe have some fun
But my body's oddly designed
So I'm not really the hugging kind
Not once has there been
Someone with a softer skin
Who reached out for me
In the middle of the night
Across my old lumpy mattress
When I turn on the light
I think I've been miscast
The time of saints is past
My faith is weak, last but not least
After forty-two years of being a priest
The church is like a woman
A thing out of reach, like a vision
She glimmers in the distance
To which I could never quite get
Now I am left here with my regret
I've seen enough that's why I know
God left this place a long long time ago
I've seen enough that's why I know
God left this place a long long time ago
It's my portion, it's my cup
It's my portion, it's my cup
