Madonna's 'Swept Away'

NEW YORK (Madonna Fans Website) - Madonna's up and down film capers are decidedly on the downswing in her latest feature, as she lands with a splash - make that a belly flop - in Swept Away, which opens nationally on Friday (Oct. 11).

The film, written and directed by Madonna's hubby Guy Ritchie, is a remake of the 1974 Italian film of the same name by Lina Wertm�ller. It's easy to see why Madonna would be attracted to the incendiary original, which pushed a lot of buttons - the story of a spoiled rich woman stranded on a desert island with a poor sailor who literally beats her into submission was a controversial shocker on its initial release.

But, like most remakes, this version waters down the punch. Madonna's convincing enough as rich-bitch Amber - when she's not over-acting - but her tirades frequently become ludicrous. Is there anyone who, stranded on a raft in the middle of the Mediterranean, would seriously tell a fellow passenger, "Fasting is good for you - It's spiritual"?

But it's when Amber and hunky sailor Guiseppe (Adriano Giannini, son of Giancarlo Giannini, who originated the sailor's role in the original Swept Away) arrive on their desert island that things begin to go seriously awry. Neither actor is up to the task of illuminating the complexities of their characters, and Madonna's transition from demanding harpy to compliant "love slave" is particularly unconvincing.

The musical interludes, paired with shots of the two lovers cavorting in the sea, seem like outtakes from a bad music video. Improbably enough, there is a bona fide - if bizarre - musical number dropped in, as Guiseppe fantasizes about Amber, swathed in yellow satin, vamping her way through the Rosemary Clooney hit "Come On-a My House." Another hysterical sequence has the two playing charades while "Ain't Nobody Here But Us Chickens" blares on the soundtrack.

Good for some unintentional laughs perhaps, but as a film trying to make a point about gender relations, Swept Away is all washed up.